Sheikh Mansour went to Spain in a Lamborghini, brought us back a manager – Manuel Pellegrini.
The legend goes that, once upon a time, Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour found himself in need of a manager for his football team. Throwing caution to the wind, the brave Prince himself lept into his Lambourghini and made the famous voyage to the deepest, darkest parts of Spain in order to find the man for the job. The perilous journey, some 4,670 miles over land, was likely riddled with dangers and difficulties (imagine how many millions of times he had to stop for petrol) but, for his beloved City, nothing would stand in the Sheikh’s way.
And so it is that today, we Citizens have the dubious honor of watching the fruits of the Sheikh’s labor in the form of manager Manuel Pellegrini. The story, as most fables are, worked out just so that the one manager perfect for the position was also the one manager who has a name that rhymes with Mansour’s steed of choice for the journey. Incredible.
But alas, the story does not end there. For you see, despite winning the league and a bunch of other Mickey Mouse trophies forby, old Manuel and his side found themselves in slumping form in the league and diminishing returns on the park resulted in underwhelmed expectations from those watching off it. Here we are today.
With things at the breaking point, Mansour decided to call in the big guns and snap up perhaps the most prolific manager in the world on doubtless one of the most lucrative managerial contracts in history. Pep Guardiola, it was originally thought, would be the man to right the Manchester City ship towards victory, but now it seems Mansour has had a change of heart. Speaking to Moremoneythansense.com he had this to say:
"“I had originally considered Guardiola given his knowledge, ability, thirst for victory and unrivalled success rate, but now I see that was all just silliness.You see, I spoke to one of my staff and apparently, it seems, the only car with a name that rhymes with Guardiola is the Toyota Corolla. “The Toyota Corolla?!?!” I said to him, “my golf carts have more horsepower than that! You can’t expect ME to make the trip to Germany in a plebmobile, we’ll have to pick someone else!”So, while I have the utmost respect for Guardiola, I was simply putting the cart before the horse and it’s not going to work. With this in mind, today I’m glad to announce that my new choice for City manager will be our former superstar Gareth Barry, who I will be personally plucking out of the Liverpool slum he resides in when I get my Ferrari back from the garage, God willing.”"
So there you go. It remains to be seen whether Mansour actually knows that Barry is still a contracted player with Everton. It’s equally up in the air whether he intends to buy out the player or the club entire, but it seems, at least for now, the legend will continue anew.
Happy April Fools, everyone!